Finding Oneself in the Gazes of Others: An Exploration of Subjective Experiences of Gender Among Young Binary Transgender Men

This study explores gender incongruence in young binary transgender men by engaging with historical and recent psychoanalytic theory on transgender identity. Four life-mode interviews were conducted with binary transgender youth assigned female at birth who had recently been referred to medical treatment for gender incongruence. Data were analyzed using interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA). We developed three major themes: (1) relating to the past—challenging experiences of being ostracized and different from peers, which have been transformed after learning about transgenderism and gender-affirming care, (2) gazes on oneself—the participants’ sense of self emerges from the gazes on themselves from the outside that have been internalized as a male identity on the inside, and (3) gender incongruence—the participants are struggling to unify conflicting gazes on themselves from the outside with the gazes on themselves from the inside, which leads to an estranged relation to their bodies and feelings of shame. We suggest that gender incongruence in young binary transgender men arises when the gazes from the inside and the outside are not sufficiently reconciled. The clinical task is to help young transgender men with their negotiations of gender within their concrete everyday life experiences.