The Psychic Impingement of Anti-Fatness and the Melancholic State of Embodiment

In this article I explore the psychic impingement of anti-fatness and its clinical manifestations. Building on psychoanalytic theoretical uses of splitting, the abject, and melancholia, I seek to understand how anti-fatness colonizes our unconscious process of grief and desire. Using Eng and Han’s theory of racial melancholia, Mamta Dadlani’s queering of Kleinian object relations, and Judith Butler’s theory of queer melancholia, I unpack a challenging session with a client who struggles to understand her ambivalence about fatness and desire. The case highlights the racial, national, and sexual dynamics that become psychically entangled with anti-fatness. Using my own associations, I explore additional themes of loss and parenting to understand the consequences of anti-fatness on our mutual sense of embodiment and the psychic space to “play” with our desire. My discussion shines light on the undertheorized systemic impact that anti-fatness has on our unconscious and conscious relationships with our bodies. Additionally, I hope to highlight ways systemic oppressions capitalize on our anxiety about loss and mortality to rob us of our own embodiment.