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This creative essay offers an embodied, psychoanalytic, and politically charged narrative of trans subjects undergoing systematic familial, clinical, and state violence in contemporary Iran. Weaving personal narrative and song with parenthetical theoretical reflections, the author cross-examines pivotal moments of betrayal, suppression, and psychic rupture—such as being coerced into involuntary disclosure by a counselor, the pathologizing interrogations of therapists, and a vacillating state intermediary posing as a “brotherly” authority figure. Drawing on foundational psychoanalytic frameworks, the essay explores how trans subjectivity is foreclosed, disavowed, disowned, or violently regulated through dynamics of transphobic countertransference and through what the author identifies as somatic resistance—manifest in recurring episodes of vomiting that rupture the veneer of traumatic embodiment. Simultaneously, the piece recounts moments of tenderness, musical euphoria, and insurgent desires as transient zones of queerdom. Rather than seeking narrative closure or redemption, the text adopts a queer epistemology that privileges silence and affect over resolution. Through the interplay of testimonial voice and critical analysis, this work contends that the human body—despite systemic efforts at erasure, correction, and homogenization—persists as a site of truth-telling, dissent, and survival, where corporeal defiance writes itself into existence.