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Facing me is a man C) approaching the age of forty, pale and sweating from anxiety, a cigarette packet clenched in his hand. His girlfriend (D) left him in August and he has been in this state ever since – grappling with suicide every day, followed in the evening by sleeping pills, spirits or a bottle af wine. He seems to have reached a nadir; unable to work, deprived of a home, he has gone back to living with his parents. It is now December and C's analysis is to begin in January.
Discussing both the narcissistic and the oedipal aspect of the primal scene, Ikonen & Rechardt (1981, 1984) write, “What else could growth and a life worth striving for be but being included in the life of the parents/adults? What else could be the doorway to adulthood than the bedroom door of the parents in the child's mind? Being shut outside that door means being helpless, being thrust aside, and being left in loneliness.”
Hell outside and paradise within – C is still there, in the hall outside the parents' bedroom. To see clearly, take in the intercourse, he must open the door; but this is antamount to death, to invite castration by both the father and the mother. Also he must close the door and go his way, separate, which is likewise equivalent to dying. This frozen internal situation contrasts with the following account from the initial stage of the analysis: “That time you phoned and were ill, I stood in my room feeling sad. In just my underclothes, I think. Then mother came in, Don't know.” C becomes clearly confused. “She throws her arms around me. It's different when you're standing up after sitting in the sofa. She presses her body