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A few years ago my father died. At the same time, my children were becoming adults. I sensed the limits of our existence very strongly. It was evident that the external realities affected the analytical processes I had going on with my patients.
Another related experience is from the time I was studying in order to become a psychotherapist over 20 years ago. I was worried since I knew that my pregnancy was not going to be an easy one. This had an effect on my patients, especially on Berit’s psychotherapy. I will get back to her later on.
There is plenty of literature on the analyst’s countertransference to the patient. While these texts describe how the analyst’s personality and inner conflicts can be activated in the transference, surprisingly little has been written about how turning points and crises in the analyst’s life can have an effect on the analytical process.
Unpredictability is part of every psychoanalyst’s life. Our personal analysis cannot protect us against pain, losses, or death. Aira Laine (2007) has studied the relation between the psychoanalyst’s transference and his personal regression profile, narcissism, and life situation. Some of us are tempted to act, whereas others may withdraw from the patients whom we find particularly challenging.
Previous writings have demonstrated that for us it is not easy to talk with colleagues or patients about our personal crises, illness, aging, or retirement. The silence can be traumatic for both the analyst and the patient. Therefore, the main questions of this article are: How does a turning point in the analyst’s personal life affect his work? How can we retain a living psychoanalytic mind in spite of the painful realities of life?
During crises, we may experience guilt, shame, and failure, as if the hardships were a sign of us being insufficient as analysts. The crises can expose us to exhaustion and depression. We may also resort to narcissistic defenses, such as envying our patients. We may lose certain functio