Letter from Sándor Ferenczi to Sigmund Freud, November 14, 1911

Budapest, November 14, 1911
VII., Erzsébet-körút 54

Dear Professor,

You must have already noticed a long time ago that for a long time my letters have been less frequent and more devoid of content than before. You once even made a remark to this effect when you asked if we don't have anything more to say to each other. I left the matter somewhat in disarray, was reluctant to cleanse myself from the inside, until today, under rather distressing circumstances (when will they finally cease with me?!), something became clear. It seems that I wanted to commit a terrible act of violence. Dissatisfied with both parents, I wanted to make myself independent! I noticed that you interpreted my inclination toward you as transference and (evidently out of educational considerations, perhaps also because in your few free days you were longing for a free, not an infantile, person) didn't want to give too much opportunity for this transference. That was my “impression,” but one that I consciously considered exaggerated.—The reaction to this impression was the decision to make myself independent. (I don't want to be infantile, don't need a father confessor,