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Budapest, April 17, 1912
VII., Erzsébet-körút 54
Dear Professor,
One shouldn't prophesy if one doesn't want to make a fool of oneself. I promised you I would write very soon about the development of things, whereby I understood this to be a decision in a negative sense. Instead of this I must content myself with a situation report that will not be too difficult for you to pass judgment on.
The first encounter went according to plan (namely, as I had intended). I was friendly and kind but reserved. Elma evidently was hoping to be received differently and reacted with a rather strong bad temper. Inwardly I felt the great change that had taken place in me in the course of the last three months and in consequence of what I had learned about Elma: hardly anything remained of the sexual overestimation of that time, and I was and am able to gauge correctly the colossal difference in worth between Elma and Frau G. Certainly the effect of these realizations expressed themselves in the fact that my tenderness, which up to this moment had been noticeably inhibited with respect to Frau G., was once again directed toward her (Frau G.).
My peculiar inclination to unite tenderness and sensuality was again noticeably evident here and may also have contributed to the fact that Elma also appeared less attractive to me as a sexual object than she perhaps deserves.
I then spoke with Elma about the future; I wanted her to understand that the events before the analysis could simply not continue, but rather that everything should begin anew. I also told her candidly that Frau G. is indispensable to me as a friend and co-worker and that I have in her everything that I need, except for the youth which I had to seek in her (Elma).
On the following evenings I was constantly in the company of both of them and was striving to establish the basis for a comfortable and harmonious life together. But Elma seemed inhibited; her inhibition grew even stronger, and yesterday she admitted to me that this situa