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Internationale Zeitschrift für Ärztliche Psychoanalyse
Budapest, December 29, 1912
Dear Professor,
Even after your last letter I didn't know for sure whether you really wanted to come to Budapest yourself.1 For that reason I didn't mention anything about it in my reply. I only learned for sure from a card from Frau G. that this was the case, and I have to tell you honestly that I am egoistic enough to regret that this plan was not realized. Too bad Rank didn't tell me that! You certainly would have lost a day of work, but not only would you have given me great pleasure, you could probably also have been of medical assistance. My turning down Rank naturally applied only to him, toward whom I would have felt obligated to play host, whereas I would have been able to speak my mind completely in front of you. Too bad!
Just now the last passage of my autoanalytic letter occurred to me (“gratis analysis gotten by sheer obstinacy”), and I find that this was a very successful condensation of anal-characteristic motives. I wrote the sentence down without thinking.
Yesterday it was suggested to me by a reliable source that I should apply for the position of chief physician at the newly built state Workers' Hospital (3,000 crowns starting salary). But I declined, since I would have had to sacrifice at least two hours a day—and at the same time occupy myself exclusively with organic-traumatic neurological cases and also with administrative agendas. The only thing that spoke in favor of acceptance was the increase in assured income.
It is interesting that with my refusal I smoothed the way for an obsessional neurotic patient (Dr. Lévy,2 whom you know). That will result in bad complications for his cure.
As soon as I am better I want to get moving again: give some lectures for physicians and laymen, write in Budapest medical journals. Otherwise they will think that my silence means a turnabout on my part.—My getting loud is all the more necessary, since an Adlerian (high school teacher)3