Letter from Sándor Ferenczi to Sigmund Freud, October 23 [1916]

Budapest, Monday,
October 23 [1916]. Evening.

Dear Professor,

I am sorry I sent the letter off yesterday. Every day brings something worth sharing. But, finally, I can and should not leave you for so long without news.

So: the resolute tone from yesterday in which I spoke to Gizella has had its effect. A crisis seems to be playing itself out in her, which says: finally to choose between me and Elma. More precisely: to give up the neurotic pampering—almost worshiping—of Elma (who did deceive her in concert with me) and to take cognizance of her real interests. This evening we were together. Both very taciturn. G. depressed, also because of the onset of her period—but mainly because of the psychic crisis. On departing, I said to her that she should finally give up the role of sufferer and honestly reveal to me all her emotions which have been pent up for years—reproach me for all the insults that for years had been heaped upon her by me, because they, and not the (already quite nonsensical) consideration for Elma was the cause of her wavering. Instead of breaking my gifts, she should honestly express all the resentment that she previously had to “swallow.” I hope that with her it will only come down to a light neurotic mood and that this “abreaction” will suffice. In myself I notice honest joy at the idea of our union.—I must still note, however, that something—which I could have noticed a long time ago—actually escaped me. Namely, that not only I but also Gizella has become much cooler in sexual intercourse than she had been earlier. Only when this symptom disappears can I be at peace about her unambiguous will to marry me.—

—My capacity for work is still very deficient (I mean my independent work—the analyses are going very smoothly). Dr. Morton Jellinek1 (a friend of my ethnologist Róheim) announced himself to me. I hear he comes from you.—Couldn't you have kept him?

Kind regards,

Ferenczi