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Budapest, December 28, 1916
Dear Professor,
Let this sheet of paper1 be proof of the fact that I have again attained a certain degree of normality and am not incapable of putting thoughts on paper. Enclosed, the first (little) test.2 I will gradually put forth further proofs—possibly in connection with our joint plan of work. But I must admit that my former biological sketches, into which I have gained insight, now seem quite strange to me.
I can only say this much about my (not just transitory, let us hope) improvement, that it showed itself around the second week of my self-willed period of abstinence. The first encounter with G. brought about a brief relapse. Now I have reached the point where I have learned to realize that I have strongly exaggerated my feelings toward Frau G.—namely, that I wanted to find more “happiness in love” in this relationship than it was able to offer me. But I must add that even now I still don't see any more appropriate love object for me—indeed, still figure on the possibility of our marriage.
We now see each other once or twice a week; (“though it's no longer as it once was!”).—For a few days I have been working mornings in the hospital on the revision of the Hungarian “Interpretation of Dreams,” the larger half of which Hollós has already translated.3 Afternoons six to seven analyses. Evenings I get bored at dinner in a club. Then a little walk.—The time after 10 o'clock is supposed to be devoted to work. I don't know whether I (the pleasure animal) will be able to stand this life-style.—
I want to invite the Budapest Society for a session next week. I will bring case histories as a program.
“Harmonia” is a good firm—something like Heller in Vienna. In principle, I am in favor of accepting the invitation, but—please—wait until I can write about additional facts (especially about the size of the honorarium to be requested).
It is pure irony that I can hardly fend off the patients, while the stupid Viennese are missing the unique opportunit