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18 December 1909
407 Brunswick Avenue
Toronto
Dear Professor Freud,
I have delayed answering your letters for a singular reason arising from my defective education. I can read German quite well, and need never trouble you to write in English, but I cannot read the old German handwriting characters. After making several vain attempts I thought of a German friend in Montreal, who got them typewritten for me, and after getting them back from him yesterday I hasten to reply.
Your personal remarks to me were quite justified, and I thank you for being so open with me. I quite recognise the faulty attitude I had taken up and further recognise that a little suspicion of me on your part will be hard to avoid until I prove that I have adopted a more satisfactory one. However I cannot help that, but I will do my best in time to earn your confidence. Deeds, not words, speak best. I don't think I need bother you with a long account of my personal complexes; last month I sent a pretty full account of the matter to Jung,1 and asked him to send it on to you if he thought it might interest you. Shortly put, my resistances have sprung not from any objections to your theories, but [from]2 partly from an absurd jealous egotism and partly from the influences of a strong “Father complex”. You are right in surmising that I had at one time hoped to play a more important part in the movement in England and America than I now see is possible; it must, and should, be directed by you, and I am content to be of any service in my power along the lines you advise.
About Brill I find it not easy to write because I know you will be strongly inclined to take anything I may say cum grano salis. Nevertheless I will speak as honestly as possible, and you can believe me or not as you will. My hostility to Brill I of course do not deny, and the causes of it are I think clear to me (jealousy in regard to his relation with you, etc.), but I feel quite convinced that you and Brill overestimate it considerably.