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Reichenau, August 1, 1890
Esteemed friend:
Very reluctantly, I write you today that I cannot come to Berlin; I do not care at all about the city or the congress, but I do care that I cannot see you in Berlin. It is not a single major reason that reversed my resolve, but that combination of minor reasons which comes about so easily in the case of a practicing physician and father of a family. It does not work out in any way: not medically, when my most important patient is just now going through a kind of nervous crisis and might get well in my absence; and not as far as the family is concerned, where all sorts of things were happening with the children (I now have a daughter and a son), and my wife who otherwise never wants to stand in the way of small trips really dislikes this particular one, and so on and so forth. In short, it doesn't work out; and since I regard this trip in the sense of a singular treat that I am giving myself, I have been led to forgo this pleasure.
Very reluctantly, because I had expected a great deal from my contact with you. Otherwise quite content, happy if you will, I still feel quite isolated, scientifically dulled, lazy, and resigned. When I talked with you and saw that you thought well of me, I even used to think something of myself, and the picture of absolutely convincing energy that you offered was not without its effect on me. Moreover, medically I undoubtedly would have profited from your presence and perhaps from the atmosphere in Berlin as well, since for many years now I have been without a teacher; I am more or less exclusively involved in the treatment of neuroses.
Could I not see you at some time other than that of the congress in Berlin? Aren't you taking a trip afterward? Or aren't you coming back in the fall? Do not lose patience with me for having left you without a letter in reply and for now declining your invitation, which could not have been more cordial. Let me know of some prospect of seeing you for a few days so that