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Vienna, April 28, 1897
Dear Wilhelm,
Last night I had a dream1 concerning you. It was a telegraph message about your whereabouts:
Via
“(Venice) Casa SECERNO”
Villa
The way I have written it out shows what seemed obscure and what seemed multiple. “Secerno” was clearest. My feeling about it was
annoyance that you had not gone to the place I had recommended to you: Casa Kirsch.2
Report on motives. — The provoking cause: events from the previous day. H. was here and talked about Nuremberg, saying he knew it very well and used to stay at the Preller. I could not recall it at once, but afterward I asked, “Outside the town, then?” This conversation stirred up the regret I have felt lately at not knowing where you are staying and at having no news of you. For I wanted to have you as my public, tell you some of what I have been experiencing and finding out in my work. But I did not dare to send my notes out into the unknown, because I would have had to ask you to keep them for me as material of value. So it would be the fulfillment of a wish if you would telegraph your address to me. There are all kinds of things behind the wording of the telegram: the memory of the etymological enjoyment you usually give me, my allusion to H. to “outside the town,” but more serious things as well, which soon occurred to me. “As though you must always have something special!” says my annoyance. Add to this, first, that you were unable to take any pleasure at all in the Middle Ages, and, further, my persistent reaction to your dream of defense, which tried to substitute the grandfather for the otherwise customary father. In that connection, my constantly tormenting myself about how I can give you a hint to find out who it was who called I.F. Katzel [kitten] when she was a child, as she now calls you. Since I myself am still in doubt about matters concerning fathers, my sensitiveness becomes understandable. Thus the dream brings together all the annoyance with you that is unconsciously present in m