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Vienna, at the Journal
Thursday, January 10, 1884
My precious darling
Comfort is the last thing I am entitled to, and it is not because you would have taken care of my comfort that I miss you. If you look at the little book we planned to keep as a chronicle of our engagement and which, as a result of insufficient participation by one of us, has not been kept up, you will find an entry to the effect that you promised to do all in your power not to leave me. I took this promise as a firm guarantee that you would stay with me. Whether you could have done something about it or not I cannot judge, whether you put up enough resistance when the project of moving arose, whether one person's1 determination was more decisive for you than my wish-all this I shall not investigate, and I really would not know how to start the investigation. But you must not say that I shouldn't have let you go. How could I demand from you sacrifices that had advantages only for me? No, that wasn't possible, and perhaps the other solution wasn't possible, either. Now we are separated, my dear Marty, and we must not belittle my work, which alone can bring us together again….
Yesterday I met Father in the street, still full of projects, still hoping. I took it upon myself to write to Emanuel and Phillipp urging them to help Father out of his present predicament. He doesn't want to do it himself since he considers himself badly treated. So I sat down last night and wrote Emanuel a very sharp letter. Sorry that I have to write about such sad things! Earlier I had been to see the Hammerschlags, where I was very warmly received. The old professor took me aside and charged me with a delicate mission concerning his young son Albert, who is a medical student; then he informed me that a rich man had given him a sum of money for a worthy person in need, that he mentioned my name and he was herewith handing it to me. I am describing the situation to you in all its crudity. The good professor himself, as he has o