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Vienna, Wednesday
March 19, 1884
Her Highness the Princess deigns to look out at me from her plush as if she had guessed again what I did today. Well, I
bet she hasn't guessed right. Be prepared for the most unlikely thing you ever heard. In the morning I lay there in the vilest pain and looked at myself in the mirror till I shuddered at the sight of my wild beard. My rage rose and rose until finally it boiled over. I decided not to have sciatica any more, to become human again, and to abandon the luxury of being ill. In no time I was dressed and sitting at the barber's, literally breathed a sigh of relief as I looked once more like a well-trimmed garden hedge, and as the weather was so glorious I walked for a while in the courtyard. It grew more and more easy, after a warm bath I could walk quite well, then I dashed into the laboratory, made up my mind to start work again, in the afternoon played chess in the coffeehouse, and on receiving a brief visit from Prof. Hammerschlag I decided to return it in the evening. This I did; of course they were all rather concerned and soon threw me out again, but here I am in the saddle once more, have no pains despite the long day, only feelings of fatigue which is understandable, can work again and am immensely, immensely pleased that I have recovered by my own decision. I can't really explain it to myself, but it is a fact. Not that I expect the pains and the difficulties in walking to have completely disappeared by tomorrow, but if they are no worse than they were after my bold attempt today, I will be able to work and soon it will be gone for good.
Goodnight, my little princess, and not another word about my sciatica. I will add a few lines tomorrow.
Thursday, March 20, early
You vain little worm. You were ashamed of your photograph, and quite unreasonably! I don't have to mention how it is bound to please the one person who loves you; what I will mention is that it is more conducive than any other picture to inspiring respect i