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Vienna, Saturday, at the Journal
April 19, 1884
My precious Marty
Most certainly you can take seriously what I said, and please don't believe for a moment that I am making any sacrifices for you which you cannot think about with a free heart. Believe me, it is only natural that I should object more than you to the protracted waiting; I just stand it less well; it is a general rule that brides are happier than bridegrooms. So it is more for my own sake that I have decided on a short-term career, and besides I am quite convinced that your eyes-the part must stand for the whole-that you, my darling, will compensate me for a great deal; you too must believe this. And what am I sacrificing for it? I haven't got particularly far, and in the two years we still have to wait nothing very decisive is likely to happen. At best a slight change in my position in society. It won't cost me any effort; on the contrary, I will be only too happy to give up what is unimportant, of uncertain value and prospect in favor of something so worthy, refreshing and rich as sharing life with a beloved who is going to be not only a housekeeper and cook but a precious friend and a cherished sweetheart as well. Add to this what I have often written to you, that in one field of science I am independent enough to make contributions without any further contacts or assistance, by which I mean my knowledge of the nervous system, and I am happy to think that you will be able to help me with it. So the world will not be allowed to forget my name just yet. The trouble is I have so little ambition. I know I am someone, without having to be told so.
By a German region1 I was of course thinking of Lower Austria, Moravia or Silesia.
For the time being anyhow I am still quite ready to fight and have no intention of breaking off my battle for a future in Vienna. The “struggle for existence” still means for me a struggle for existence here. This past week the chances of being a Dozent next winter have, I must admit,