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Hotel Annenheim und Seehof
on the Ossiacher Lake (Carinthia), Annenheim
September 2, 1907
Dear Colleague
Here I sit thinking of you in Amsterdam, shortly before or just after your inflammable lecture, busily defending psychoanalysis, and it strikes me as almost an act of cowardice that I should meanwhile be looking for mushrooms in the woods or bathing in a peaceful Carinthian lake instead of myself representing my cause or at least standing by your side. For my peace of mind I tell myself that it is better for psychoanalysis, furthermore that you will be spared a part of the opposition that would be awaiting me, that nothing but useless repetitions would be heard if I were to say the same things all over again, and that you are more suitable as a propagandist, for I have invariably found that something in my personality, my words and ideas strike people as alien, whereas to you all hearts are open. If you, a healthy person, consider yourself a hysterical type, then I must claim for myself the class “obsessive,” each member of which lives in a world shut off from the rest.
Whether you have been or will be lucky or unlucky I don't know; but I would like to be with you at just this time to enjoy the sensation of being no longer isolated, and to tell you, in case you need some encouragement, of my many years of honorable but painful isolation which started after I had my first glimpse into the new world; of my closest friends' lack of interest and understanding; of the anxious periods when I myself believed I had been mistaken and wondered how I could still turn to advantage a bungled life for the sake of my family; of the gradually growing conviction that kept clinging to the interpretation of dreams as to a rock in a stormy sea, and of the calm assurance that finally took possession of me and bade me wait till a voice from the unknown answered mine. That voice was yours; I also realize now that Bleuler can be traced back to you. Let me thank you for this, and don't lose c