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Already in the first year of our child's life, we begin to ask the question which we shall face in different circumstances over and over again throughout his childhood and adolescent days: to what extent can we ask and expect our child to cope with frustration and anxiety himself, and when do we need to step in, to cradle him and take over responsibility?
We need to give the growing infant a chance to test his resources and his capacities. Trying these out on his own, within a secure framework with mother, father, or a caring person to help when really necessary, gives him a chance to feel that he is learning, getting bigger and stronger.
We do not always have the time to let him try his experiments, and often we do not have the patience to let him make mistakes when it would be much quicker for us to do things for him. It may be quicker, for instance, to shovel food into the mouth of your one-year-old than to let him feed himself, to undo your three-year-old's tight buttons when he wants to struggle with them himself. No doubt there are times when it's so urgent to get a move on that you have to do these things for him, even when he's wanting to try.