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Despite having read countless early histories similar to the one described at the beginning of this account, I still feel shocked if I allow myself actually to think about the descriptions and explore the meaning of the words. ‘Domestic violence’ in reality means a small child witnessing, sometimes on a daily basis, her parents physically attacking each other, often to the point where there is a lot of blood, screams and frightening bodily sounds. ‘Physical abuse’ means the child herself also experiencing physical pain and assault and being left unattended in pain whilst swelling then bruising occurs. So by implication ‘physical abuse’ also means ‘emotional abuse’ as the child might try to make sense of her experiences by formulating thoughts like, ‘I have done something wrong’ or ‘I must be bad’. Finally, ‘neglect’ means feeling cold and hungry, experiencing not an absent breast but an attacking breast (Bion, 1962); it means feeling desperately alone with a mother who is physically there but too depressed, distracted or traumatised herself to make a meaningful connection.
With these early experiences, Eve’s infantile formulation of adults would begin to be that adults can’t be trusted and that the world is not a safe place. She has experienced extreme trauma and we read subsequently how her development has been adversely affected. These early years followed by multiple placements lead to a child
who is indiscriminate in her attachments. Eve has not developed within a meaningful, reciprocal relationship, set in the context of unconditional love. She will still be largely in a paranoid–schizoid state of mind, where her objects are predominantly frightening and persecuting. In her first foster placement she might have had the beginning of a containing relationship but with each loss, she would have slowly given up. Relationships undoubtedly became fleeting, shallow and functional. Adults existed to meet Eve’s physical needs. Her survival strategies would have been t