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This is a continuation of my study on empathy between adults and children (1953), but here I shall deal with mothers and their own children. Clinical material from the analysis of a child, from discussions with her mother, and the analysis of another mother taught me about a specific psychic immaturity that will keep a mother from sensing her child's needs, from following his pace and understanding his infantile world; and in turn keep the child from developing adequate ego capacities. Only the adult with a certain amount of ego maturity is able to know, to enjoy, and to rear and assist a child. The ego-damaged mother, on the other hand, prevents normal ego development in the child. I shall show how such disturbances in the child's ego development become obstacles in the process of sublimation.
The first part of this paper will deal with two very immature mothers who shared and, as it were, acted out the children's wishes yet were unable to perceive their children's real needs. These mothers and their children were extremely attached to each other; some of their friends characterized the relationship as "overidentification." Despite this emotional closeness, or perhaps on account of it, the mothers were unable to empathize with their children; the goal and function of this "closeness" was exclusively narcissistic. The sensitivity of one person to another can be called empathy only when it is not in the service of narcissistic needs but in that of mature object relations.
Jane was eight years old when she started treatment with me. She was extremely anxious, especially when it came to meeting new people in her parents' absence. She avoided visiting schoolmates by