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THE TITLE PHRASE OF THIS ARTICLE IS NOT A NEW DICTUM. IT is well known to most people, but its full meaning often reveals itself only gradually through personal and professional experiences. I heard it for the first time from my teacher, Anna Freud, when I stood on the threshold of a new, more independent phase of my life and bid her good-bye. I was struck by her response, a simple quiet aside, "A mother's job is to be there to be left." I did not understand it, but it touched me deeply and remained with me, ready to resurface on many occasions and to be integrated in time. I know now that my surprise was not due to the fact that I had not yet experienced the maternal responsibility and feeling of being left; rather, I had not yet come to terms with every child's knowledge of his mother's feelings and of this aspect of his relationship with her.
In taking up this topic now I shall first refer to some phases of the mother-child relationship in which most mothers, professionals, and even children are explicitly aware of the leaving-and-being-left aspects. I shall then discuss some of the earliest turning points when it is not always so obvious. In conclusion, some general implications for development will be underlined.
Many mothers are keenly aware of the painful job of being there to be left at the time of their young child's entry into