The Development of Sexual Identity in Homosexual Men

I have outlined three broad stages in homosexual identity formation: a childhood acquisition stage, the consolidation stage of adolescence and early adulthood, and the integration stage of adulthood. The stage of acquisition is characterized by same-sex fantasies and impulses in early childhood. Memories of these early arousal patterns may be repressed, but do become more accessible through the analysis of the indirect memories that are manifested in the transference and in the choice of sexual objects. They may, of course, also be directly recalled. The experiences during early peer socialization of being "different" appear to include the preconscious recognition of same-sex arousal. Other recollected aspects of being different from peers may act as a screen for these repressed sexual memories.

The consolidation and integration of the homosexual orientation appear to be enhanced by a warm and loving mother who permits the child to have an accepting image of himself and of his father. Those homosexual men who have been used by their mothers as narcissistic extensions of themselves and who have unconsciously perceived their mothers' ambivalence toward them tend to have more masochistic tendencies and poorer self-images due to their early narcissistic injuries. They feel greater need for social conformity because of their reliance on peer and social approval for self-esteem maintenance. They are more likely to despise their homosexuality as they do other aspects of themselves, to avoid the companionship of other homosexual men, and to fear intimacy with them. The negative perception of their sexuality is manifested in and reinforced by the ungratifying nature of these relationships.