Psychoanalysts are familiar with the concept of the primary developmental need of accepting the child’s “no.” It is understood that the child has to say “no” first before a “yes” can truly be given. This paper proposes that another primary developmental need is for the child to “discriminate” in order to know what group they belong to, and more importantly what they value and desire. Experimental research from developmental psychology will shed light on this “discriminatory” process that operates within the first six months of life. The paper will also hypothesize how an avoidance of “discrimination,” just like an avoidance of the acceptance of a child’s “no” can lead to disengagement from internal desires and motivations, also can lead to apathy and withdrawal from full engagement with the self’s mental and social life. In order to have the ego capacity to say “yes” one needs to first develop the ego capacity to say “no.” And in order to develop the ego capacity to “include,” one needs to develop the capacity to “exclude.”