The strangeness of identification with the aggressor is that it is a paradoxical ego-survival mechanism when experiences of pain outweigh those of pleasure. Containing capacities are overwhelmed by paradoxical and ambiguous destructive attacks on the psyche in the external world and/or the internal world, challenging the analyst's countertransference. This retrospective work of writing bears witness to the countertransference remains archived in his memory, resonating with societal echoes.