“Loving well” bespeaks temperate, object-oriented, narcissistic love which, bypassing passion, gives access to a peaceful love, resulting from mourning and yet without sadness. “What do you ask of me/When you have me…?/ I ask for nothing/If you love me well.” These lines, read by a patient during a session, had been sent to him by his mistress during the summer holidays. The work that followed shed particular light on the clinical experience of the double life and the primary object defects from which it can result. In the mouth of the beloved, “When you have me” amounts to a protest of love, but also an incitement to renunciation. “If you love me well” is not an expression of acceptance of diminished love, but a way of emphasizing that the love lavished by the lady is not a truth established by the one who utters it, for he is merely repeating the words of his love-object. In this sense, “well” is the trace of a conviction that results from a real integration of the primary object.